My Grandmother turns 80 today. I cant be there. This sucks.
My grandma did not attend school for long. She always told me it was because her mom and aunts told her, “Girls should only learn enough to be able to write their name, so they can reply when boys write to them”. I always asked her about it, she said she cried, but….thats just how things were those days. A different time. The islands in the 1930’s might as well have been on Mars.
I spent most of my young days with her and my grandfather in Ra(1990’s Ra, with those arsehole gravel roads) on the western side of Viti Levu. At the beginning of the school year, my grandfather would see my grandmother and I off as we started our trip to the town. My grandfather was the village doctor, so he had to stay back, just in case. The morning trip would begin at around 6am with a boat ride over to Bureiwai, a nearby village(carriers and buses preferred only reaching here because of crappy roads). Here we would hope to catch the 9 am carrier(basically, a pickup truck with a tarp cover) to go 3-4 hours to Suva. Then, we would get on the bus for the 3-4 hours trip down to Lautoka. Again, the roads were hell back then. Being the kid I was, this was an adventure for me. A glorious combination of boats, carriers, bean, bongo and buses. I now realize that my grandma was then in her late 50’s or 60. I cant imagine how tiring and crappy that was for her and I’m so sad that I never once realized it. But hey, I was 6, and awww hell yeah, the world was mine. School enrollment done, she would then begin the journey back to the village while little me ran off to be the jah in the playground(totally fijian thing).
Fast-forward to Uni, 21 year old me knocked out in the living room after a long night of kava/beer/no good. You know those knock out naps, we all do. You stagger till you get somewhere mildly familiar, kick off your shoes, find the nearest flat empty space and just fall face first into it. A miserable no money namu pile of uselessness feeling on top of the world thanks to dulled senses. Then, a blanket gets thrown on you, a hand lifts your head and places a pillow under it and you hear matches striking as a mosquito coil is lit. You hear mumbling and cursing but its all good. You’re home, and your grandma is going to yell at you when wake up but…for now…she’s your grandma. She’s in her 70s now, still looking out for me.
Soon, its graduation night. I’m 24 and after all the “”you are now a man” speeches and well wishes, I steal away stealthily from everyone beside the tanoa and sneak down the driveway to go meet the bro’s in town. Feeling pretty good about myself to be honest. However, as I’m heading down the driveway I hear a strong voice coming from the porch, “Woe Pei, lako qori, qarauna na motoka, KUA NI SAGA MO QITO I GAUNISALA” (Oe, when you go watch out for the cars, and DON’T PLAY ON THE ROAD!!). I fooled everyone except the woman in her late 70s. Still looking out for me.
We all have some certain people in our lives. People who we know, deep in our heart of hearts, that we don’t deserve. I have been blessed with many of these. Among them, she probably is Queen. Sorry, she is queen. I selfishly hope that before it all is said and done, I will get even more people in my life who I do not deserve. If I don’t, then I know I used up the quota a long time ago. A Happy Birthday to her. Where ever you may be, send her a shoutout too.
My Grandmother turns 80 today. I can’t be there. This sucks.
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